my pet goat

 I’ve heard that people gain some sort of stress relief from having pets, and that they can lower their blood pressure just by stroking their dog on a daily basis.  These people have obviously never met Daisy.  I must first say that I do actually love Daisy, although it may not seem like I do when I describe the headache that she adds to our lives on a daily basis.  Daisy is beautiful & sweet, but she is also jealous, vindictive, and freakishly smart.  If everyone in the house is paying attention to the baby (the horror!), Daisy will proceed to eat things to get attention.  I swear the dog has PICA.  (Surely you know of PICA...it’s that weird pregnancy disease that causes pregnant women to each paint chips and chalk.  mmm.)  For example, so far today she has eaten the corner off of 2 dishtowels (and I caught her with a third!), simply because I was doing the unthinkable...I was feeding the baby.  She apparently can’t believe the nerve of me for providing nourishment to the baby, so she trolled around the house searching for something to eat.  (Mind you, I cleaned up all of the loose towels/blankets/socks/etc before I went to feed the babe, because I knew that Daisy would be on the lookout for such items.  I believe that she found the aforementioned dishtowels on top of the washing machine.)  Oh, and she also enjoyed some of the dangly things from my pashmina.  This was all in the span of 20 minutes or so.  I don’t mind calling Daisy a bitch because, technically, she is one...in both meanings of the word.  I love her, but some days it’s REALLY tough to like her...because she goes out of her way (using her freakishly cunning dog brain) to make my life more difficult.  Honestly, I’ll be shocked if this dog lives to see her fifth birthday because she eats so many random things...rocks, cement, socks, undies.  Literally, some of my favorite undergarments have made their way through her entire digestive tract.  Yes, I’m complaining about my dog on the internet.  Lame?  Perhaps.  But seriously, I JUST bought this huge pack of dishtowels from Costco and they’re almost all destroyed.